Mindfulness and Counselling: A Therapist's Perspective

When Irish mental health Minister Kathleen Lynch got stuck in a lift with the Irish Minister for Health James Reilly, she assured the media she was not stressed during it as she was practising her mindfulness. Was she in a state of profound calm or just trying to deny a mounting panic or discomfort?

And this is how mindfulness can be. It can be used and mis-used. Today it is a real buzz word and seen as the new answer to all ills. Vietnamese Zen monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, warns against this kind of mis-use in his writings on ‘the better way to catch a snake’. If we grab a snake by the tail or the body, it will bite, but if we use a fork at its head it is safer. Similarly if we approach mindfulness the wrong way we can get bitten.

The original practice of mindfulness is based on the Buddha’s teaching in the ‘Sattipathana Sutta’, or ‘The Great Discourse on the Establishment of Mindfulness’. In a nutshell, it is a balanced and relaxed observation of the processes of our body, our sensations in our body, our feelings and thoughts.

The clever thing about mindfulness is stepping back from ourselves and seeing the process of ourselves unfold. Like watching a river flowing or clouds drifting across the sky you see your body just as it is, seeing our thoughts and feelings just as thoughts and feelings…’this is a thought, this is a feeling’…seeing them arising, staying for a while and then subsiding. Seeing their changing nature we don’t get caught in them and can let them go.

However, this includes seeing and staying with the unpleasant feelings, thoughts and sensations which is a little more difficult. But watching them in the same way as the pleasant aspects of ourselves is also mindfulness. An old teacher realised this when he said: ‘there is no reason to believe that when we discover the truth it will turn out to be interesting.’

So Kathleen Lynch was practising mindfulness if she was able to observe her unpleasant feelings and thoughts as they are; or was she, like most of us would do, wrestle with the thoughts and feelings trying to push them away or getting caught up in them and following the drama.

The benefit of mindfulness is this stepping back from ourselves and attending to ourselves. In a way we are giving ourselves the space to see how we are and take care of that which is a good thing. It also allows us to calm down, this soothes us. We can get in touch with a peacefulness in us that is a real resource. This gives us perspective and space.

Mindfulness also has it limits. As a psychotherapist, I have seen clients who rely excessively on mindfulness. It can contribute to a lack of involvement in the world and feed an isolation in their lives that has its roots in their own past isolation. Psychotherapist Arnie Mindell describes it: ‘The secret desire for nirvana (enlightenment) is a shortcut to death itself as it cuts off individuation from a failure to interact with life’.

It can also be used to run away from our feelings. If we learned that our sexuality or our anger is ‘bad’ we can turn to such spiritual discipline to expunge these aspects of ourselves. This never works and the battle with ourselves can keep us very stuck in our lives.

But most importantly, mindfulness does not see the huge value in relationship and relationality – the value and profound contribution a second person can make to this practice of self observation. Our planet has two poles, north and south; batteries need two points to work. Similarly, we work best in twos. And this is why counselling and psychotherapy works best when there is two people. The importance of expressive speech and a listening, reflecting other is a hugely important and healing part of counselling that is not in mindfulness practice alone.

Also, ironically, in my experience, the use of mindfulness in a psychotherapy session can take a client to a real depth in themselves that they do not experience from their own individual mindfulness practice. For me, mindfulness in the therapeutic relationship has a real power that is life changing.

In summary, in the question of whether to use mindfulness or counselling, it might be both.

To take a closer look at mindfulness in counselling, contact me, Thomas Larkin, through my Dublin website www.thomaslarkin.ie

Anxiety and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Anxiety affects the way we think, feel and behave. It can also have a very physical impact on our body. Cognitive (Thinking) Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a type of counselling that helps us monitor these aspects of ourselves.

It is important to understand that anxiety is a normal response to any threat to our person. Being slightly nervous can help us to perform better or can help us to deal with danger. The body reacts to a threat by producing adrenaline, a hormone which prepares us for ‘fight or flight’. You feel your heart beating faster and your breathing becoming faster. These symptoms are the body’s way of preparing us to run or fight.

Although it is normal to feel anxious when threatened or under pressure, some people feel anxious quite a lot of the time when they are not really under threat. Anxiety can become a problem when it is severe and prolonged and when it interferes with what we want to do in our daily lives.

In anxiety, a vicious cycle is maintained between thinking and feeling (including bodily responses) and behaviour. You may not even be aware of the thoughts themselves as you are so used to them. These thoughts are called ‘negative, automatic thoughts’ and the aim in CBT is to identify what they are, so that you can challenge them. The aim is to become good at hi jacking those thoughts before they take hold of you and send you spiralling into anxiety. Although the feelings anxiety produces are unpleasant, they are not dangerous.

It is common for people who suffer from anxiety to avoid situations that make them feel anxious. This can become very problematic as the more you avoid something, the more difficult it will seem to overcome, which in turn will make you more anxious. It is necessary therefore, to keep trying to do things even if they make you feel anxious so that you can prove to yourself that nothing disastrous will happen. CBT helps facilitate this work.

Taking control of anxiety starts with recognising what’s going on in your mind and body and taking positive steps to manage this. In this way anxiety can be seen as a normal response to life changing events but one that does not take over your life.

To take a closer look at this in Dublin, contact me, Thomas Larkin, through my website www.thomaslarkin.ie

CBT - the quick fix?

When a crisis hits us in our lives we naturally want it to end as soon as possible. We may look into psychotherapy and counselling and see that it takes a bit of time. Then we see that cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) takes 6 – 8 sessions and it’s an easy choice. Or we have done some psychotherapy but want to be fixed quicker so CBT is an easy choice.

We can come to CBT wanting a one-line ‘magic bullet’ phrase or piece of advice that will undo all our problems.  We don’t want the answers to have to do with our behaviour, our body or our feelings, just be cognitive. Those areas are off limits. Our back story can also be off limits ie how we got into this situation. The more that is out of bounds and off limits, the more any solution will be purely partial and won’t last very long. What we are DOING is avoiding. Trying to fix only one aspect of ourselves is like putting a small boat on a big ocean, when the ocean rears up the boat gets smashed and the ocean reasserts itself. In other words, the size and power of the mind and its patterns reasserts itself.

Emotionally we can therefore come to CBT with impatience and anger, born out of desperation, but showing an underlying sense of panic and uncertainty. What we are DOING is treating ourselves and others harshly and impatiently from the panic we feel at the uncertainty we are experiencing.

From this we move into relationships and a therapeutic relationship with a sense of ‘give me the answer, you fix me now’. What we are DOING is assuming someone else has YOUR answer. What we are telling ourselves is ‘I can’t help myself’. What we are also telling a therapist is ‘I’m looking for certainty, I can’t bear the uncertainty I’m feeling and the anxiety it brings’.

We are stuck in the vicious cycle of how we treat ourselves. CBT describes the vicious cycle as ‘What we DO follows from and serves to confirm what we believe’.

In CBT we have to become aware of what we DO first, become aware of our patterns. As we calm down we get in touch with the uncertainty and anxiety and see that we don’t know, YET. Knowing that you don’t know is the beginning of knowing and is the start of the solution. We start to give ourselves the time and space we need to look at what’s happening in us and to take a more full view rather than racing to fix one thing out of panic. As the panic itself subsides we see the same one problem differently already. We then have space to trace the roots of this panic and find the underlying assumptions and the core beliefs they sit on. Albert Ellis, one of the founding father of CBT, said: ‘We are not disturbed simply by our experiences, rather we bring our ability to disturb ourselves to our experiences.’

CBT is not something separate from psychotherapy. CBT’s founding principals are based on the same therapeutic principals. There is just a slightly different emphasis – the importance of DOING something to change it, behaving in new ways. When we change what we do, when we stop avoiding and stop panicing and stop treating ourselves with aggression and impatience, and see that we CAN help ourselves and what that might involve, we can begin to DO things differently.

In summary, we become aware of what we do first, then consider ‘what can I DO’ that would represent an important symbolic change in that behaviour. When we act differently we get different experiences coming back to us and our life changes.

How long that takes depends on what is happening with us. Six to eight sessions may indeed be enough to get through the crisis. It may require more and it may not. It’s like drinking water, if you don’t drink enough you remain thirsty, if you drink too much, you can continue drinking but there is no point. There is a point between these two extremes that is the right ‘enough’ point for YOU. Only you can judge that point from your experience of CBT.

To experience CBT for yourself in Dublin city centre, contact me through www.thomaslarkin.ie

Our Body Speaks in Psychotherapy

Sometimes clients come to therapy and find it hard to speak. They feel ‘if I’m not saying anything nothing is happening’. What they don’t realise is they communicate the second they come into the room. Their body tells their story.

How we stand or sit, how we hold ourselves, where we scratch, where the tics and fidgets are, all tell the story of what happened to us, how we tried to protect ourselves and where that’s left us on the inside.

Our body is a living organism that pulses. This pulsing produces feelings and allows self-recognition. When we go through difficult experiences the startle reflex is triggered within our nervous system. This is our instinctive reflex to danger or potential threat. Our body reacts by contracting – our shoulders go up, our legs prepare to run or we freeze, our eyes sharpen. Our body comes out of this process as the danger passes and we return to the natural pulsing. Our body rebounds from this shock in some violent outburst such as crying, screaming or anger.

If the nature of the event is severe enough or on-going for long enough the startle reflex remains in place. The natural pulsing stops and the body remains braced. It becomes rigid. Our muscles then form around the startle. Our body becomes locked in defence, keeping the outside world out and the inside world in. Experiences such as deprivation, neglect, punishment and anxiety are felt bodily and result in our bodies becoming set. This setting of the body is called ‘body armour’.

With body armour in place we become disconnected from ourselves and our experience. Clients often speak about feeling like they are ‘in a bubble’ or have a sense of ‘floating’ or ‘unrealness’ about their lives. They are no longer in their bodies and the only place left to be is in their heads where everything is rationalised. One anxious thought chases the next and the anxiety spirals making us more and more disconnected from our bodies. Our bodies no longer speak as it is frozen and our life on the outsides mirrors what dialogue between them. We feel more connected to ourselves and the world. We can now allow our inside world out and the outside world in, fitting with the natural rhythm of life and our bodies.is happening on the inside, we are stuck.

Therapy is a process not unlike cooking. First of all our body has to thaw. If meat is cooked from frozen it doesn’t work. As we sit in therapy and trust begins to emerge our body is able to begin to release the tension it feels, it is thawing. This is happening regardless of what is being said or not said in therapy. At the start of therapy we tend to talk for the sake of talking, out of our own discomfort, out of our own disconnection. As we settle, we begin to talk from the part of ourselves that has been frozen. As that experience is processed and heard and acknowledged by both the therapist and the client the anxiety, anger and sadness of those experiences is felt and released. Our body is then free to return to its natural pulsing. Our body informs our mind and there is dialogue between them. We feel more connected to ourselves and the world. We can now allow our inside world out and the outside world in, fitting with the natural rhythm of life and our bodies.

To begin this process, I'm available at www.thomaslarkin.ie